We will begin by telling the story we knew as a class. It may well turn out that we all have slightly different ideas of what it is, understandable because there are so many different versions floating around out there.  After this I will ask you to read five tales in common.  Some may seem very familiar to you, but some may surprise you.  For the first time this year, I’m going to ask you to read three of these online (using your eepcs).  Here they are:

• Charles Perrault’s Cinderella or the Little Glass Slipper translated by Angela Carter.
• The Grimm Brothers’ Aschenputtel translated by D. L. Ashliman.
• Philip Pullman’s retelling of Mossycoat.

• Louie’s Yeh-Shen
• Steptoe’s Mufaro’s Beautiful Daughters.
  

Once you finished these, go ahead and read as many of the others in the classroom as you like. Just be sure to record every one that you read in the data sheets.

Once you understand what to do, get started — do a brief recording of yourself telling about your Pilgrlm story.  It can be in the voice of your character, it could be a piece of your interview, or the beginning of your story.  That is up to you.  Then this will be embedded into a blog post about this project.

• Paragraphs make it so much easier to read a story.  It is very hard to know what is going on when there is a page of text with no paragraphs.  A new paragraph gives us white space, a bit of a rest before moving on.

• Paragraphs can make a story dramatic.  Sometimes a will use a one word or one sentence paragraph to create tension and excitement.

• Paragraphs are critical for dialogue.  There are rules you must follow (that you learned in Writing Skills) for this.
• Paragraphs help change a scene. They move us to a different place or time.  You can move your story ahead days or weeks with a new paragraph.  (Think of the book Meanwhile.)

There was a hand in the darkness, and it held a knife.

The knife had a handle of polished black bone, and a blade finer and sharper than any razor.  If it sliced you, you might not even know you had been cut, not immediately.

The knife and done almost everything it was brought to that house to do, and both the blade and the handle were wet.

Neil Gamain’s The Graveyard Book

There is nothing lonelier than a cat who has been loved, at least for a while, and then abandoned on the side of the road.  A small calico cat.  Her family, the one she lived with, has left her in this old and forgotten forest, this forest where the rain is soaking into her fur.

Kathi Appelt’s The Underneath

Many, many, many, many, many years ago, there lived a boy.  His name was Ugh.  A good boy, Ugh lived with his two brothers and two sisters in a small cave by the sea.

Al Yorinks’ Ugh

Stand her with me on the shores of New London, Connecticut.  Feel the cool breeze of the Atlantic Ocean on your face.  Feel the dirt beneath your feet; this land is far from ordinary.  It was here, upon this very spot, that Joseph Cinque set foot in America, bringing with him a group of renegade slaves and leaving his mark on history.

Veronica Chambers’ Amistad Rising

Preparation

Here’s a recap of the Tale Tales we discussed:

• Type A is the classical Cinderella, the one you know from Perrault (and Disney based his movie on this type).  There is a mistreated main character and a shoe test.
• Type B is the one often called Catskin. Versions that I read to you include “Donkeyskin” and “Allerleirauh or the Many-furred Creature.” And we also watched the movie “Sapsorrow.”  In this type the main character has to run away from her father.
• Type C is one we called the King Lear type.  Some of the versions of this that we read (in addition to the graphic novel version of Shakespeare’s play that I showed you) were Moss Gown and The Way Meat Loves Salt.

Gearing Up to Write

When you began to do your own stories I read to you from Gail Carson Levine’s book Writing Magic. She made some excellent suggestions and included The Writer’s Oath that you all took. It was:

I promise solemnly:

1. to write as often and as much as I can,
2. to respect my writing self, and
3. to nurture the writing of others.

I accept these responsibilities and shall honor them always.

Revising

Once you have a first draft done (or even before that) you should think about revision. For authors (remember E. B. White?) revise, revise, and revise. And revising is NOT about checking for spelling, capitals and stuff like that.  It is about looking hard at your writing and thinking about what you can do to make it read the best it can for your audience.  I’ve now read what you have written so far and here are some things I recommend you consider.

• Are you doing too much telling instead of showing?
• Murder your darlings!
• Are you telling us MUCH more than we need to know?
• Where are you starting the story?  Does it have to start where you start it now? Maybe you want it to begin later?  Or sooner?
• What about the beginning?  You have to really grab your readers with the first few lines. So be sure they are interesting!
• Are you giving us enough description of your characters?  Can you do more by showing us rather than telling?
• Is your story confusing perhaps? If so, why?  What can you do to make it less confusing?
• Is your point of view consistent? (First person, third person, etc?)
• Do you need a narrator or another character to give some of the description?
• Think about your setting — keep language and description in line with where and when your story takes place.

Critiques

Tomorrow we will do critiques.  I will read aloud three (if there is time) of your works-in-progress (this is what writers call their stories as they work on them).  This will be done anonymously.  That is, the author is not known. (If you think you know who wrote it, you must act as if you didn’t.  It is important to consider only the story, not the author.)  We will read and then talk about what is working and what is not working in each critiqued story.  Even if your story isn’t critiqued, you will get something out of it, I promise. I learned how to do this in a writing class for adults and it was the best way I learned about writing. In fact, many well known writers were in the class and we knew, of course, when their work was read (for example Gail Carson Levine was in the class), but we pretended that we didn’t.

Mistreated person (often by mean stepfamily)
Fella in Cinderfella, Harry in Harry Potter, and Lily in Davenport’s Ashpet.

deadline
This often is midnight.

change in status
Fella goes from rich to servant to royal, Harry goes from middle class to servant (pratically) to “The Boy Who Lived,” and Lily goes from comfortable to servant to soldier’s wife.

identity “slipper” test
Fella’s is a loafer, Harry’s is the prophesy, and Lily’s is a shoe (and looks).

assistance
Fella’s is a fairy godfather; Harry’s are Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore; and Lily’s is Dark Sally.

event(s)
Fella’s is the princess’s party, Harry’s are too many to list, and Lily’s is the dance.

enemies
Fellas are his stepbrothers, Harry’s are too many to list (but most of all Voldemort), and Lily’s is Thelma

Cinderella Character – Candace/Moss Gown

Physical Traits:

youngest daughter, red hair, beautiful

Personality Traits:

loves her father, kind, doesn’t judge, caring esp. towards father, gentle, hardworking

Other Significant Characters

father, sisters Retha & Grenadine, Grise Grise woman/witch woman w/ green eyes, Young Master, First Cook

Setting

long ago in the Old South, plantation, tidewater of South Carolina

Initial Situation

father asks daughters who loves him most, will give land to that daughter, Moss Gown says she “loves him as much as meat loves salt,”  she is banished & sisters get the land, after leaving Moss Gown sleeps in moss bed and a witch woman gives her a moss gown which she wears, during day gown is rags, gets work in another fancy house

Special Event – 3 frolics/balls
Main character can’t go — why?

has no dress to wear

Main character gets to go to event — how?

special chant calls Grise Grise woman who helps with gown

Event and what happens there

Moss Gown meets Young Master and he falls in love with her

Main character leaves event suddenly — why?

has to leave before the morning star shines or gown will be moss & rags again

Loses something –what?

does not lose anything (someone says a girl in rags left)

Rest of family returns from event(s) — what is that like?

servants discuss the lovely girl at the ball

Identity Test

Young Master sees Moss Gown and watches gown change & still loves her

With father, Moss Gown serves saltless food and says as much as meat loves salt – gives him salt & he recognizes her & is sorry for his treatment of her

Resolution

marriage of Candace/Moss Gown & Young Master, daughters spent all their money,  Candace reunited with her father

Dear Cinderella Skeleton,

I hope this letter finds you dusty.

How is Prince Charnel spooking?

Are Gristlene, Boney Jane and Skreech remaining ashes and dust?

Has your marriage continued to rust?

Are there any new skeletons to ride in your hearse?

I hope this letter makes you feel hatefully worse.

Is your foot still shriveled and detached?

Or are your mildewy feet now a match?

Princess life must be deadly, mournful and ghoulish!

Rest in Peace,
Ms. Levithan & Edinger House ’07-’08

1) Review the Cinderella stories you have read so far. Pick three that you like because of their use of language, vocabulary and how they tell the Cinderella story. (One of these will be assigned to you)

2) Reread your assigned story. Take notes and look for:
_ setting

_ vocabulary

_ plot

_ use of magic

_ characters

_ the way the author uses the Cinderella structure

3) Write the first draft of your letter.

4) Edit your draft for content. Does it fit with the plot, words, setting and characters in your story?

5) Final edit. Check for spelling, punctuation and capitalization.

6) Write your final copy. Decorate the border in the style of your book!

Our letter is going to Cinderella Skeleton