You will be ready to proofread your Cinderella story after:
- Completed at least two drafts that Ms. Edinger responded to
- Finished revising in response to Ms. Edinger’s and others’ comments (for example, you may have had your story critiqued by the class or Ms. McQuillan looked at it or someone else).
So your next-to-final step will be to PROOFREAD your story:
- Print out a copy of your story.
- Proofread with checklist (from Ms. McQuillan).
- Make changes on computer.
- Print out one more copy.
- Place finished story in dropbox (in folder “Proofcopy for Ms. McQuillan”)
- Turn in BOTH printed copies (the one you marked up and the one you changed) to Ms. McQuillan for her to check.
- Once Ms. McQuillan has okayed your work Mr. Andre will do one final copyedit for you.
Final Step:
- Put story on your blog! It is then PUBLISHED for the whole world to read!
Published on
February 2, 2010 in
Reviews.
Today we very much hope that you will write a review of Bound for Glory!, the Middle School musical you saw last Thursday. It was a different play than some of the others you have seen, but we hope that now that Mr. Gallagher spoke to you that you have enough of an understanding to write a review. Remember what he spoke about:
- the themes of the play
- the setting of the Dust Bowl
- why he felt it was so important to do the play (knowing the person who wrote all those songs, especially “This Land is Your Land”)
- how he compiled it (using Woody Gutherie’s songs and parts of John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath and Karen Hesse’s Into the Dust).
- what songs you knew and the ones you didn’t
- the way he cast it (three Woodies, for instance)
- Mexican illegal immigrants and their deportations
When you write your review you might want to begin with a description of the play and some of what Mr. Gallagher spoke about. Then you might want to comment on elements you liked: the characters, costumes, the staging, the lighting, the video projections, and more. You might want to single out a particularly favorite bit — perhaps the deportation number, the scene with the bread, or something else. Were there performers you thought were especially good — mentioned them and say why!
Since we would like to make your blogs public soon, so be sure to proofread carefully (checking for punctuation, sense, capitals, and spelling). Make sure that you have a good topic sentence, some supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence, too.
Also, please include a link to The Dalton School so your readers can learn more about where you saw the play.
To help you, here is a list of characters:
- Pete Seeger
- Woody Guthrie (Act I)
- Woody Guthrie (Act II)
- Pa Guthrie
- Ma Guthrie
- Clara
- Citizen
- Banker
- Farmer
- Young Woody
- Dust Bowl Ma
- Dust Bowl Pa
- Dust Bowl Daughter
- Man on Train
- Woman on Train
- Hobo Brown
- Hobo Girl
- Schwartz
- Steinbeck
- Pa Joad
- Ma Joad
- Tom Joad
- Rose O’ Shar’n
- Tire Seller
- Two Children
- Big Bill
- Mae
- Al
- Trucker
- Ragged Man
- Sheriff
- Deputy
- Mexican Lady
- Mexican Girl
- Angry Man
- Zilphia Horton
- Worker
- Stewart Udall
- Bob Dylan
Yesterday we had our first critique. What were some points that came up yesterday that you can now consider when returning to your draft?
- considering descriptive words
- vary names with pronouns (e.g. Cinder-Bryan)
- Pacing (esp. at the beginning)
- Revisit beginnings to decide if more or less is needed.(consider flashback later in story for death of parent, etc)
- “murder your darlings” (consider whether your favorite bits are really needed.)
- verb tense (stay consistent with present or past time. Either “I am” or “I was”)
- Keep setting consistent and believable — can’t have cell phone in a fairy tale castle.
- Watch out for potential confusing parts.
- Balance narrative and dialogue.
Published on
January 26, 2010 in
Reviews.
I am coming to save your friend’s life, and my own.
I must ask two favors. First, you must write me a letter.
As you know, that is from the mysterious first note found by Miranda in Rebecca Stead’s When You Reach Me, the amazing Newbery-winning book I just finished reading to you. It was very cool to listen to you yesterday as you tried to sort out what was what. And now today it is your turn — to write your own letters about this remarkable book — on your blogs. My hope is that you will all write thoughtful and interesting ones that I can mention on my blog as I did last year. But I can’t do that until the blogs are public so I hope you will be ready to do that with this post. (And when we finish the mural I will put an image of that up here and on my blog for people to enjoy.)
First of all, a fun tidbit. The book takes place, as you know, in 1979 and the television show, $20,000 Pyramid plays a major part in the story. Go here to see a clip of the original show and then come back….
Back? Good. Now here are a few ideas of things to consider for your blog post —we’ll add a few more today as well. (And if you want to read my New York Times review here it is.)
- The title — what do you think of it? Would there be a better one? (One person I know suggested The Laughing Man —what do you think of that?)
- The cover — some don’t like it. Do you? Explain why it is what it is.
- Chapter titles are mostly “Things that…” which is the way to do your answer for The $20,000 Pyramid.
- How did you feel about it being SO mysterious? Were you able to wait until all became clear?
- Veil metaphor — when was it lifted for you?
- A Wrinkle in Time
- For kids who are comfortable with many different threads and things going on all at once.
- What suspicions did you have? Were you right or wrong?
- Do you get the time travel stuff? Does it matter if you don’t?
I think paragraphs are one of the coolest parts of writing. It is amazing what they can do! Here are some of my favorites reasons for paragraphs:
- Paragraphs make it so much easier to read a story. It is very hard to know what is going on when there is a page of text with no paragraphs. A new paragraph gives us white space, a bit of a rest before moving on.
- Paragraphs can make a story dramatic. Sometimes a will use a one word or one sentence paragraph to create tension and excitement.
- Paragraphs are critical for dialogue. There are rules you must follow (that you learned in Writing Skills) for this.
- Paragraphs help change a scene. They move us to a different place or time. You can move your story ahead days or weeks with a new paragraph. (Think of the book Meanwhile.)
Last week you left comments on the Edinger House Blog post about Chinese Immigration. Now you are going to write a different kind, a really positive and insightful comment for one of your classmate’s oral history post. We have in mind comments like the ones this Book Blogger received on this post. What do you think are some important elements to keep in mind when writing this sort of comment?
- Start with positive, but it is fine to then nicely present your own opinion that may be different than the poster.
- Be sure to not use yours or any classmates’ actual names.
- Be descriptive.
- Show how feel.
- Tell the truth.
Here are your assignments:
| c18AB: |
c18ZF |
c18TA |
| c18AL: |
c18TA |
c18SP1 |
| c18CM: |
c18SP1 |
c18ZF |
| c18DM: |
c18SB |
c18AB |
| c18EH: |
c18RR |
c18AL |
| c18FB: |
c18RG |
c18CM |
| c18GB: |
c18MT |
c18DM |
| c18GI: |
c18KL |
c18EH |
| c18GN: |
c18JF |
c18FB |
| c18JF: |
c18JJ |
c18GB |
| c18JJ: |
c18GN |
c18GI |
| c18KL: |
c18GI |
c18GN |
| c18MT: |
c18GB |
c18JF |
| c18RG: |
c18FB |
c18JJ |
| c18RR: |
c18EH |
c18KL |
| c18SB: |
c18DM |
c18MT |
| c18SP1: |
c18CM |
c18RG |
| c18TA: |
c18AL |
c18RR |
| c18ZF: |
c18AB |
c18SB |
Now you are almost ready to write your own Cinderella story. Just to hone in on what the essential parts of this story type can be, let’s see how many different variations you have found in your own readings (25 different stories, right?).
Mistreated Individual
- animals (penguins, chickens, dogs, cat, rat, rabbit, dinosaur)
- human (girls, boys, cowboys/girls, caveboy/girl, countrygirl, ballerina)
- magical creatures 9troll, bigfoot)
- cultures (Egyptian, Korean, French, etc)
- flowers (lily)
Abusers
- step family, sisters brother, mother, father
- school bullies
- witches
- servants (kitchen staff, cook)
- creepy guy who wants to marry Mossycoat
- deinonychus
- cat
Deadline
- 30 minutes
- midnight
- Morning Star
- before family comes home
- 6
- Rooster crows
Setting
- fairy setting (as in Perrault or Grimm)
- New York City
- China, Germany, France, Egypt, Poland, etc.
- Rural (farms, country, not city)
- desert
- cowboy Texas, “Wild West”
- 1970s (discos, etc in Prince Cinders)
- 1960s LA (Cinder Fella)
- 1930s movies (Singing in the Rain)
Test
- matching diamond (Dinorella)
- ring
- shoe/slipper
- cleats (Half Back)
- trousers
- loafer
- cowboy boots
- dress shoes
- salt test
- kindness
- tuna casserole number
- ring, spinning wheel, and third object
- play list on Ipod
- glass sneaker, flipper,
- bike
- basketball
- soup
Assistance
- fairy god parent
- Aunt Sally from Ashpet
- doll made out of mother’s love
- Dumbledore
- mother’s grave/tree/spirit
- birds, fish bones, and other animals and animal remains
- Charlotte
- Gris-gris woman
Special Event
- balls, frolic, dance, festival, disco,parties, fiesta
- basketball game
- rodeo
- log event
- audition
- performance
- cat and bunny show
- meeting
